This may be delicate and a painful question, and I apologize if it raising bad memories.
What were people around you asking about what would have been obvious marks, cuts, and bruises?
I think it useful for people to understand when they see marks the kinds of things they may be told to justify, and hide them so they can be aware more is going on than indicated.
My mother was an absolute master at controlling the narrative. She told everyone elaborate and humorous stories about how clumsy I was.
After a while, I even started repeating my mother's words, “I fell. Yeah, I am so clumsy.”
To people who suspect something, I would say, look for the parent controlling the narrative. Look for the child repeating that narrative almost verbatim. Maybe if someone had asked me the details of what had happened, they would have gotten the truth out of me, or at least the obvious inability to answer the question beyond my mother’s script.
Also, look for the parent who doesn't want to leave you alone with the child or allow the child to speak on their own. I was never allowed to be alone with or speak to medical personnel.
Actually, this is exactly what I want. I want to be asked these types of questions. It doesn't just help me, but maybe the collective as a whole. I've realized that people don't want to believe a child is being abused. It breaks something in them, and they'd rather believe the narrative being told than believe the truth.
The problem is that these people have got to get out of their comfort zone because there are too many out there who abuse and control the narrative about the abuse. I was so busy keeping myself sane, I had to give up on being believed.
It’s so hard to understand really, empathize with you, that is. I can only imagine how hard it must have been! Hope God gives back ten fold for all that you went through in such a difficult life!
This may be delicate and a painful question, and I apologize if it raising bad memories.
What were people around you asking about what would have been obvious marks, cuts, and bruises?
I think it useful for people to understand when they see marks the kinds of things they may be told to justify, and hide them so they can be aware more is going on than indicated.
My mother was an absolute master at controlling the narrative. She told everyone elaborate and humorous stories about how clumsy I was.
After a while, I even started repeating my mother's words, “I fell. Yeah, I am so clumsy.”
To people who suspect something, I would say, look for the parent controlling the narrative. Look for the child repeating that narrative almost verbatim. Maybe if someone had asked me the details of what had happened, they would have gotten the truth out of me, or at least the obvious inability to answer the question beyond my mother’s script.
Also, look for the parent who doesn't want to leave you alone with the child or allow the child to speak on their own. I was never allowed to be alone with or speak to medical personnel.
Thank you for sharing these extremely personal experiences.
The strength you have, in your words, your story, and not least the very fact you are here, is evident.
I believe people don’t ask the deep questions, just the performative surface stuff.
Good to know: when you see something and get a response, dig if it looks strange.
Actually, this is exactly what I want. I want to be asked these types of questions. It doesn't just help me, but maybe the collective as a whole. I've realized that people don't want to believe a child is being abused. It breaks something in them, and they'd rather believe the narrative being told than believe the truth.
The problem is that these people have got to get out of their comfort zone because there are too many out there who abuse and control the narrative about the abuse. I was so busy keeping myself sane, I had to give up on being believed.
I will answer this. This is a great question that has me thinking back.
Thank you Michelle. Appreciate your addressing! 🙏🏽
Thank you so, so much for your questions, curiosity and compassion. ❤️
“bad guys, not chimpanzees.” lol!
Studying bad guys is such a great idea! Smart!
It’s so hard to understand really, empathize with you, that is. I can only imagine how hard it must have been! Hope God gives back ten fold for all that you went through in such a difficult life!
Honestly, I feel pretty blessed. I survived. I’m not like them. So, life’s good.
Jane Goodall studied chimpanzees - I study bad guys. I’ve spent most of my life with them (bad guys, not chimpanzees.)
I hope maybe I can help someone with what I’ve learned.
Good answers. You know yourself and your challenges well. You are so strong. I admire you.